


You're Everything to Me

by Fumm95



Series: Dragon Age Drabbles [10]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Dreams, F/M, Post-breakup
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fumm95/pseuds/Fumm95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In her dreams, Estrid is haunted by an image of him saying words that she should, but can’t, forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Everything to Me

**Author's Note:**

> For the calming prompt: “You’re everything to me.”

Estrid awoke with a start, glaring at the empty room, blinking as the achingly familiar figure disappeared from her vision.

“It was only a dream,” she whispered to herself. A figment of the Fade, or more likely, one of the demons that had haunted her ever since the fall of Corypheus, since  _he_  had left for good.

With a groan, she forced herself out of bed; weeks of experience had taught her that more sleep would remain elusive for fear of running into  _him_  again, even if only in her mind. She almost envied the nights directly after defeating Corypheus for good, when she was, at least, tired enough to sleep without dreaming.

Perhaps she could find a way to return to that state, to avoid sleep until her exhaustion could guarantee dreamless nights. It wasn’t like there was anything left for her in the Fade other than pain and regret and demonic possession.

The irony of the entire situation nearly made her laugh. Once, she had enjoyed visiting the Fade, had gloried in her connection to it. Especially after…

Memories resurfaced, no matter how hard she tried to hold them back. The explorations  _he_  had taken her on, throughout Skyhold and on their travels. His joy at her wonder. The first time since they’d arrived in Skyhold, when he had taken her back to Haven and…

Estrid cut off that line of thought, angrily brushing away tears that had escaped her notice. The demons already haunted her enough at night, tormenting her with distorted memories of love confessions, of Fade kissing, of  _him_. She didn’t need to - couldn’t  _afford_  to - let it haunt her conscious self as well.

And whatever words they said, no matter how much she longed to hear them, were only born from her own longing.  _He_  had made his choice. had made it long before he’d left, possibly even before that day in Crestwood. Even if the apparition had looked different from her usual demons, more haggard, more desperate, more as she would have imagined  _him_  to look, it was all fake. It  _had_ to be fake. He,  _Pride_ , would never apologize brokenly, would never pledge his unwavering devotion.

She blinked suddenly and to her surprise, the fresco-covered walls of his rotunda, rather than the plain stone walls of her own room, greeted her eyes. The unfinished sketch on the bare spot seemed to shout up at her, to remind her once more of his absence at Skyhold, in her heart. During the day, she avoided the place with a vehemence, but at night, it appeared she could not stop her subconscious any more than she could stop her eyes from welling with tears yet again.

Any more than she could stop her traitorous mind from thinking of the last, quiet words Solas’ image had spoken before she had forced herself to awaken: “You mean everything to me.”


End file.
